


like the dead sea (you'll never sink when you're with me)

by 9crimes



Series: this poison comes instruction free [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Gen, blake siblings, implied bellarke, this poison comes instruction free 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3077039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9crimes/pseuds/9crimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Octavia 2 days to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like the dead sea (you'll never sink when you're with me)

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this after 2x08 so the 'This poison comes instruction free' 'verse is now canon compliant up to that episode. this was originally part of a second chapter to TPCIF, but I got stuck and couldn't make this fit, so I decided to post this on it's own. More coming in this 'verse, in the meantime enjoy some Blake siblings feels! I enjoy writing Octavia, but have only done so a few times so I hope her voice translates well!

It takes Octavia 2 days to figure it out. 

“Oh my god, you fucked her. _When_ did you fuck her?” 

“Jesus O, keep it down” he whispers harshly. Octavia rolls her eyes because they’re in the middle of the ocean and it’s barely past sunrise so even if they were closer to shore, no one would be awake to hear them anyways. It’s been 3 years since Octavia stepped foot on the ground and 4 years since she last slept under the floor. She still finds it difficult to sleep in the open, even with Lincoln beside her. She’s seen every sunrise on the ground. Sometimes Bellamy joins her, days he himself has trouble sleeping. Days like today, when he appeared next to the rock she was perched on, with a fishing net and a raft one of the younger boys had made (she remembers the look of pure joy on the boy’s face when Bellamy had inspected the raft, given a curt nod in his direction, and barked at him to have 5 more made by the end of the week. What an asshole).

“Shut up, tell me everything, how was it? I bet it was good, god, 3 years of sexual tension? yea it had to be good, right?” Bellamy’s scowl gets meaner with every word and Octavia’s smile gets wider. 

“It was...jesus, no, look i’m not talking to you about this, ok?” she doubles over with laughter and almost falls off the raft, but she doesn’t press him for the moment. Bellamy has gotten better at talking to her, talking to her for real, but like most things in his life it has to be on his terms. So she crosses her legs and lifts her face to the rising sun and smiles when he clears his throat a few minutes later.

“Happened a few days ago. When we were at that goddamn festival the East River Clan invited us to. I told her going there was a bad idea but she never fucking listens to me” Octavia nods because, well, yea. Clarke respects Bellamy, everyone knows how much she respects him. She trusts him with her life, which is also disgustingly obvious. But she _never_ fucking listens to him. It’s one of those things, one of those Clarke-and-Bellamy things, a complete dichotomy but they make sense of it somehow. 

He’s gone quiet again but his fingers are fidgeting with the net and he’s cutting his eyes at her every few seconds so she figures he wants to be prodded now.

“And you guys are keeping it a secret, why exactly? Everyone already thinks you’re doing it anyways” Belllamy lets out a harsh scoff at that.

“There’s nothing to tell. It was a one time thing, it happened, it’s over. We agreed not to tell anyone, it’s better this way”

“You agreed, or she told you that’s how it was gonna be and you took it lying down?” His eyes narrow and she would feel bad but then there’s the fact that she doesn’t give a damn, so.

“It was my goddamn idea, so fuck off with that. Jesus never mind, let’s just go back, they’ll be waking up soon”. Octavia rolls her eyes, _what an idiot_ she thinks, but when she’s done doing that she looks at him and feels a rush of affection and an even stronger rush of worry. She likes Clarke, she really does, loves her even. But she’s always had this feeling, this sinking feeling when she sees Bellamy and Clarke walking together, Clarke talking with her hands and Bellamy nodding along and looking at her from under his too-long hair...and look she has her own protective streak, ok? Bellamy might have been told ‘your sister your responsibility’ but people forget that she was all he had too, growing up. She doesn’t ever want to see him hurt, is her point, no matter how much she may like the person doing the hurting. 

“Bell” she sighs “Why? And don’t tell me that’s what you really want. I know you’re in love with her” his eyes shut with a grimace when she says that and she gets it, but you don’t get to fuck the girl you’ve been in love with for the better part of 3 years and then pretend it meant nothing. They’ve talked around this enough times for him to know that she’s not going to accept that. 

“Like I said, it’s better this way. Clarke isn’t...she’ll never want the shit that I want alright, it is what it is”. 

“Because of Finn” he stills at that and she winces a little, uncomfortable with the topic but determined to hash this out with her brother since he clearly isn’t going to be talking about it with anyone else.

“Bellamy, what happened with Finn was...it was terrible, and I can’t begin to understand what Clarke must have gone through but - “

“You’re right, you can’t, none of us can so _back off_ O-”

“BUT it’s been almost 3 years, and if she can’t move past what happened, you can’t just...not live your life, you know?” She grabs his hand then because she needs him to _understand_ and she lets out another sigh when he doesn’t push her away, threads his fingers through hers and squeezes. 

“You and Lincoln...I’m not saying you had it easy, I know you didn’t. But you were on the same page from day one, with the feelings shit and all that. Clarke and me...it’s not like that with us” Octavia nods and feels a little naive for not considering the differences between what she knows of love and what Bellamy does. 

“Clarke’s lost a lot of people, a lot of people who she loved and who loved her back. She doesn’t...it’s not just that she doesn’t want to love anyone, she doesn’t want anyone to love her, to _be in love_ with her. If she knew -”

“She’d push you away” Octavia finishes sadly. “And you’d rather have her in your life as nothing more than a friend, than not at all”. Bellamy lowers his eyes, avoiding eye contact with her.

“Sounds pretty pathetic when you put it like that”.

“Hey - it’s not. It’s - “

“Swear to god, O, if you say ‘sweet’ I’m pushing you off this raft and leaving you out here” She rolls her eyes and shoves him, which pushes him off balance, and somehow they end up tangled up on top of each other. It reminds her of when she was a kid, small enough for Bellamy to fit under the floor with her. He’d sleep there with her some nights, stay up late telling her stories of empresses and queens, warrior girls and princesses. She’d be just like them someday, he’d tell her. He’d make sure of it, make sure they wrote about her, make sure she was _remembered_.

“Ugh, get off me, you’re such an asshole” she says, but she doesn’t make any attempt to move him from where he’s landed, head on her stomach and legs dangling out in the water. They let the waves carry them for a few minutes in silence, and she closes her eyes. 

The truth is, she wasn’t going to say it was sweet. She was going to say, it reminded her of something that would happen in one of those stories he used to tell her. Tragic, but beautiful, she used to think. This isn’t one of those stories, this is Bellamy’s life. And as much as she wishes she could see the beauty, all she sees is the tragedy.


End file.
